CLICK ON THIS PDF ➡ word + image MRS 1
I lay down in the water after he closes the door.
Can’t tell where my body begins and the water starts.
Floating in this space reminds me of a place I’ve never been but maybe I have.
Initially the calm state I entered with turns into chaos with all the surface thoughts that have been on my mind.
I try and go deeper within.
I feel my hands drifting as they move subtly on the water. I calm myself down with affirmations and visualize what this feeling feels like.
The weightless float you experience further out in the water before the waves come in with full force.
This helps, but as I focus on this and my breath I realize I am still and this has just become still.
Not moving or floating anymore.
I am here.
I don’t even realize when my thoughts stopped and I felt close to something.
It’s hard to describe because it is more than a feeling than anything else.
I feel an unfamiliar feeling as though I am floating through space yet something familiar and natal that I cannot remember.
No destination just an overwhelming calmness.
When I open my eyes, they are closed.
I see a deep blue that isn’t there.
It is the same kind of faintness of a dark shade you see in your mind between memories.
I hear a knock on the door.
Two hours are gone, but it feels like it all has just begun.
I watched him close the door from the inside.
The door clicked shut
The darkness hit me as the sound echoed through space
I was alone in the water
Just by myself waiting
After what seemed to be moments but in actuality an hour, my mind drifted off from memories to nothing
My mind was at ease
Any slight movement could remove me from the deep
I heard a noise but I couldn’t tell if I had created it
I could not tell where my body started and the water began, its temperature was that of my body and the aroma of minerals reminded me of a place I had never been or seen
But I saw it and it was surrounded by a fog
It was something wooden
I felt like there were people inside
I try to concentrate on my hands
My thoughts run wild
Why can’t I stop
It’s just like everything else I realize after I stop
It’s hard to focus on the present
Like it’s hard to focus on my breath
Move, rise, long, lost, pure, shell, deep, content, manage, aesthetic, argument, complex, vessel, shape, sync, language, speak, manipulate
Rise, manipulate, deep, complex, vessel, content, shell, pure, sync, language, lost
Manipulate, lost, pure, content, deep